So, I finally saw Brothers last weekend and after sitting through a half hour's worth of previews and antother hour and a half of the movie, I left rather satisfied. However, I was slightly disappointed I didn't get exactly what I went for: indirect incest.

Yes, I admit that I have a weird thing about incest. Maybe I should get some help... Nah. That just takes the fun away. Anyway,for some reason I was looking forward to Tommy Cahill (Jake Gyllenhal) seducing his sister-in-law (Natlie Portman). Not to spoil the movie for anyone, but that didn't happen. But hope was not lost! My favorite thing about the movie was Tobey Maguire. Tobey did an AMAZING job at portraying the heroic and tormented Capt. Sam Cahill. It was so refreshing to see him in a more adult role, where his character is dealing with traumatic events in Afghanistan, instead of diving off a skyscraper to catch a screaming Kirsten Dunst. If I were him, I'd let her become one with the pavement, but that's just me. Anyway getting back to what matters,Tobey may still look like a fourteen year-old boy waiting to sprout some facial hair, but in Brothers he is clearly seen as a man. Plus it was very entertaining to hear him say "fuck." Not sure why. It just was.

So if you're looking for a good movie to watch, check out Brothers. It's a little heavy, but if you're sick and twisted like me, you'll definitely find some humor in there.

Oh, before I forget. I am editing my sexy man list and bumping Josh Duhamel for Jake Gyllenhal. The army uniform just wasn't enough to hold Josh's spot. But it's okay because Jake is there to fill the void. Therefore, the sexy list is as follows:

1. Taylor Lautner
Pretending his eighteenth birthday passed, as it soon will when February 11 roles around in 1 month and 27 days...not that I'm counting.
2. Ryan Reynolds
Truly my favorite blonde man.
3. Ian Somerhalder
In reality he's human, but he's got the captivating eyes of a vampire.
4. Jake Gyllenhal
He fills out a pair of jeans quite nicely.
5. Gerard Butler
Sweet man, sexy accent and eyes as green like the hills of Ireland.
6. Jude Law
Just can't resist, no matter how hard I try.
7. Topher Grace
Okay, so I bumped Hugh Jackman for Topher. As long as Topher keeps the hair short and ditches the pudding bowl do he sported on That 70s Show, he's allowed to stay. My sister, in the meantime, can have Hugh Jackman.
8. Zac Braff
I'm a sucker for Zac Braff and not ashamed to admit it.
9. Johnny Depp
Never tires.
10. Rob Pattinson
Honestly, this is a filler spot. I'm growing bored of Rob, but hopefully his new movie Remember Me will keep him from getting booted.

It has just occurred to me--okay it occurred to me several weeks ago, but I was just trying to buy some time--that my blog does not have a theme. We all know that all writing, fiction, nonfiction, blogs, all start with a theme. With the exception of my novel that I am currently working on, Angels and Demons has no theme. So, for the time being I have decided just to go random. That's right. Whatever thought seems to be floating around in my head shall appear on here. And today's topic: Johnny Depp as People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive once again.

Oh yea! Johnny has been crowned Sexiest Man Alive for the second time (he was also given the title back in 2003). As sad as it may seem, I actually look forward to People's annual list of sexiest men. And this year I couldn't be happier. Okay, I lied again. I was hoping Taylor Lautner would've taken the spotlight, but seeing as he's still a minor, I guess that wasn't an option. Here's looking to next year!

Til then, here's my own personal list of sexy guys.

1. Taylor Lautner
Let's pretend that his birthday passed. Give me that much.
2. Zach Braff
I can't help it. Zach reminds me of my John. He's tall, has nice hair and gorgeous eyes. Plus, he's goofy in a loving way. You've got to be crazy not to think of him as cute.
3. Ian Somerhalder
A guy with stunning eyes who plays a dark version of Edward Cullen with a sense of humor. What's not to love?
4. Ryan Reynolds
All I have to say is mhmmm.
5. Gerard Butler
He's got a fun personality and charming smile. Plus I'm a sucker for accents.
6. Hugh Jackman
Man can that guy sing!
7. Johnny Depp
Timeless good looks and amazing talent=sex appeal and lots of it.
8. Josh Duhamel
This choice was mostly due to the army uniform he wore in Transformers.
9. Jude Law
Steely blue eyes and of course a British accent.
10. Rob Pattinson
Despite hygiene rumors, he can be good looking when he wants to.

Ever since we were young, our parents have always told us that we can talk to them about anything. As comforting as being open and honest may sound, we all know that's not going to happen.

Sure, Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel of the television show "Gilmore Girls," make the parent-child relationship look ideal. At times they cease to be mother and daughter and instead seem like two best friends. That may due to the fact that Lauren Graham's chracter was only sixteen when she had a baby. It could also be because her character is a single mother who raises her daughter (Alexis Bledel) on her own. The point is that the "Gilmore Girl" relationship doesn't exist. Yes, there are those who're very close to their parents and claim to tell Mommy and Daddy everything, but there're always a few skeletons still locked away in an unknown closet.

We've all done things we don't want our parents to find out about, whether it's sneaking a drag from one of their cigarettes or hiding birth control in your underwear drawer. So, for our parents' sake---and in certain cases, to avoid being doused with holy water---we store those things away in a locked box. But being parents, they somehow know everything.

Not even 24 hours had passed since I'd gotten my first kiss when my mother came to me and said, "He kissed you, didn't he?" Mind you, I had merely been killing boredom on my computer when she randomly came up to me. And any trace of rosy cheeks or a wide grin had been erased by insane amounts of alegbra homework. How'd she know about the kiss? The only answer I can come up with is the sixth sense that comes with being a parent. Since parents create their children, something along the lines of a radar is placed in each one of us upon conception. It is an internal monitor that our parents use to know what we're up to.

Parents have their little tricks of getting the secret information out of us. Usually they plan some random dinner with a relative you haven't seen for so long that you think they've passed on until you walk in to see them sitting at the dinner table (it's quite a nasty shock when you presume someone to be dead). See, the parents use the dinner guest as a way of gaining access to information. The guest can ask you questions about your life that your parents can't ask without being seen as nosy. You then become trapped. Wave the question off or answer too vaguely and you're prelonging your torture. Your best bet is to just come clean.

Example: Guest: "What're your plans after graduation?"
You: "I want to be an actor."
Guest: (scoff, disapproving look) "What do you plan to do to make money?"
You: "I told you. I want to be an actor.
Guest: "That'll get you no where."
You: "Actually, if I play it right, I'll be nominated for best threeway scene."
Guest and Parents: (Stares at you with open mouths as you smile smugly to yourself.)

Hell, if you're going down then go down with a bang. Anyways, seeing as I would like to attempt to get more than six hours of sleep before going to work, I will leave you with these top five questions no child ever wants to answer his or her parents. If there's anything you feel I missed, please drop me a message and I'll update the list immediately.

Cheers!
1. Are you having sex?

One big reason to fear high school: once the time comes, you will forever be haunted by the question "are you having sex?" whether or not you're single.

2. What do you want to do after you graduate [college]?

Referring to the example above, you can see why this question can be a problem. It is especially troublesome for those who graduate and still have no clue what they want to do with their lives. I say, do what you have to do. If you're working at a fast food restaurant and not miserable doing it, have as much fun as you can. Parents, though, may not always see it that way.

3. You got a new job/raise? How much are you making?

NEVER ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Nobody should know how much money you make and parents are no exception. By telling anyone how much you bring home, you're handing them a weapon. The best thing to say is "It's enough to keep me on my feet for now," and walk away.

4. Would you ever put me away?

To get out of this situation, just smile sweetly while concealing the retirement home brochures you've been stocking up on since you were sixteen.

5. Would you say grace?

This question is only directed to those who have different beliefs from their parents. It can often make family dinners tense, in my case anyway. It's bad enough when all the candles mysteriously blow out when I set foot into a church, but imagine announcing to a Catholic family that you're Pagan. It's not pretty.

         Telephones replaced face to face communication. Email has replaced written letters. Texting has replaced the telephone and now Facebook and Twitter has replaced it all.

         Ok. I can deal with E-cards during the holidays or a simple text message inviting me to a party. Hell, I can even deal with finding an old classmate on You Tube lip syncing to the Backstreet Boys. What is really getting on my nerves, though, is the "like" button on Facebook. Lately it seems that people have grown lazy and neglect to write a little something about new pictures or to comment on a recent post. No "Hey that post was really funny," or  "You've got some left over nachos wedged between your front teeth in that pic." Nope. They just simply click "like" and it's all done.

         It's bad enough that most relationships are sustained through Facebook these days, but clicking a puny button as means of expression is insulting to the original poster. Personally, I feel that people are just clicking the "like" button for the sake of clicking it. At least when my friends text me it has some meaning, even if it's something like, "I was bored and needed someone to bother." At least I purposefully crossed their minds instead of them randomly scanning my Facebook page to check if I'm still alive.

           Many Facebookers are petitioning to have a "dislike" button. I, for one, fight against the "Dislike Movement."  Why? Because creating a "dislike" button will only start a chain reaction. Robots have replaced human workers in factories and EZ pass booths have replaced people at the tolls. The next step: buttons to replace emotion! Before you know it, you'll have the following buttons not only on Facebook, but on the latest cell phones, emails, and soon enough they will make their way into the vernacular: like, dislike, love, hate, horny, hungry, manic, suicidal, depressed, bitchy, thirsty, and bored.

          Now, I'm all for you leave me alone and I'll leave you alone type of life style, but for Shakespeare's sake there has to be some real interaction every now and then so that our brains will not rot. Ever read books written during the Victorian era? If so, my guess is you were probably confused for the most part. That's ok. Back then, people spoke very proper and used big words. Nowadays, though, things seem a little...diluted. Am I the only one who's ever wondered about this decline? How is it that people have gone from speaking properly to merely clicking a button that isn't really there?  The horror!

          Many of you may see me as a hypocrite since I have a Facebook myself and am as much of a phone person as I am a morning one, but I'm not taking action to destroy Facebook. All I'm asking is a little feedback every now and then. I take pride in all my work, written and visual. So, I'd like comments. If you click the "like" button, did you really like it and if so why? If you didn't like it, why not? What can I add? Was it funny? And so on.

            So, yes. The "like" craze has greatly offended me and I refuse to support the movement for a "dislike" button until I see some improvement.

            The revolution has begun!

     Almost a month has gone by and I've neglected to share one of the best things to happen to me since chocolate soy milk: I've been published! Yes, you've read me correctly.
 
      Last month I was asked by Pam to do a guest blog for nameberry about vampire names (she knows me so well). Grateful we were communicating via email so that she couldn't see me do a jig like a circus clown, I accepted the assignment and got to work. With a grin that made my face ache, I sat down with Edward, my computer, and prepared to hammer the keys. There was just one teeny,itty bitty problem: where to begin?

      I felt like a marathon runner who had hit the wall. My buzz had been extinguished, leaving Edward and I to stare at each other stupidly. Panic had replaced my excitement as I tried to figure out how to connect vampires to baby names. Instead of sitting around and stewing in my apprehension, I got up and walked away from the computer. The words will come when the time is right, I told myself, and they arrived the next night.

       This time the blank screen didn't look so intimidating. I had a goal to reach with my words and I had  plan on how to get there. A few sentences were strung out across the screen at first, then the page soon became filled.  My blog was complete within an hour and found its way into Pam's mailbox. After a few adjustments and a cute picture to illustrate my work, it was posted on nameberry and had reached a new early morning record by receiving nearly 14 comments. Hail to me!

      After sending the blog's link to every person I knew,  I did a little dance--in reality it was just a bunch of spastic movements--in celebration of my achievment. Of course the entire time I heard my mother's voice in my head reminding me that I lack any rythem whatsoever, but it didn't matter because I finally got my name out there as a writer. And the best part is that my blog was up all weekend for all to see. In case you haven't seen it, here's the link: nameberry.com/blog/2009/10/29/vampire-baby-names-2/. 

       To some it may just be a lucky shot. But to me, it's the beginning of a dream come true.

  So after two days of being lost beneath a mound of dirty tissues, I've finally made an appearance in the world. It figures that I have to spend the first weekend I get off from work blowing my nose so hard that my eye pops out of its socket. But hey, at least Halloween wasn't a total waste for me. I thought I was screwed because I didn't buy a costume this year, but it turns out I didn't need one since I was drugged up on enough cold medicine to turn me into a zombie.

   I can't really complain, though. At least today I was feeling better enough to see John <3.Yes, I drew a heart. Apparently after six years he's starting to grow on me. Although reflecting back on the past couple of mucus-filled days, it's probably a good thing I spent the worst of the illness buried beneath the covers. For one thing: I was zoning in and out of conciousness BIG TIME. The first night you have a bad cold is never fun. You constantly teeter on the line of awake and asleep. You confuse your dreams with actual people and you begin to talk back to the voices in your head. Then again, I already talk to the voices in my head, so what am I really complaining about?

   Another crappy thing about being sick is that the way you feel on the inside reflects itself on the outside. Yea, all the magazines warn every woman about getting too comfortable around her man no matter how long they've been together. They strongly advise against bringing out the sweat pants and making your guy the victim of a Dutch oven because you then run the risk of losing all your sex appeal. So, what can be worse then letting one loose while wearing sweat pants held together by patches created from other pairs of sweat pants that have passed on? The answer: a Medusa-hair do with a swollen, dripping, red nose like Rudolph, in a pair of sweat pants. So yes, I'd say I was VERY fortunate that my cell phone was the only contact I had with John the first day I was plagued with this cold.

    FYI: one shower can work a ton of miracles. No, you won't have the strength to drag the eyeliner across the base of your lashes, but you will have removed any dried snot, cough syrup remains, and the potent stench of Vics vapor rub from your body. Not to mention that the hot steam helps with sinus problems and makes you feel refreshed. Only after a shower are you worthy enough to see your guy in person (granted that you don't end up spraying him with snot by having a sneeze attack).

   So, aside from some minor congestion, I am returning to the Brownstone tomorrow to carry on my hostess duties of seating people. Despite the cold, it was nice having a weekend to myself again. Let's face it, though. I can't sit still enough to actually enjoy a vacation.

Hi ho! Hi ho! It's off to work I go!

   So I was at the diner today, doing my usual hostess duties, when all of a sudden I hear a low growl coming from behind me. I turned to see this young guy (only a few years older than I am) looking away sheepishly. The same thing happened again when I walked past him several minutes later. Can you believe some jerk was actually growling at me? Ugh! Like it was going to get him seated any faster...Oh how I longed to slap him with the menus.

   Anyways, for fun, here's a list of a hostess' great annoyances:

1. People who don't listen.
     Now, I understand some people suffer from the disease stupiditis, but that just means I still have to pay the consequences because you're stupid and heard something completely different from what I told you.

2. Servers who're nicotine addicts.
     This is one of the reason I despise smoking: it interferes in your life. It's bad enough when picky customers disrupt my seating system with special requests like I'm Burger King, but it's even more annoying when a server is ready to bite your head off for a quick puff. C'mon! What am I supposed to do? Swamp everyone else because you're throwing a tantrum over a cancer stick. I think not. And I've got two words for you: the patch.

3. As mentioned above, picky customers.
     I can see wanting to move to the other side of the restaurant because it's warmer, or prefering  a table to a booth when you're a little heavy, but what I don't understand is when I seat you in a booth by the window and you move to the exact same kind of booth by the window, just in front of the one I originally sat you in. NEWS FLASH! I sat you there for a reason, jerk!

4. Servers who play the pity card.
     It's not that easy being in a position where I decide who makes money and who goes home broke. I'm sure it's not at all easy just surviving off of tips, but don't come crying to me with things like "Oh, I've got kids," or "I'm trying to save money for school." Everyone's in the same boat. You are no different than anyone else. You've got kids to support? Everyone working has a family to provide for and bills to pay. What makes you so different? Answer: nothing.

5. People who move to a different table without asking.
     Not only does it mess with my system, it's just plain rude. At least be polite about it and give me a heads up.

It's always nice to see the adorable smile of my ten year-old cousin, Sydney, but at the same time it can rather depressing. Sydney's a lovely girl who's mostly known for the words that constantly stream from her mouth. The advice given to Sydney on a daily basis usually goes something like this: "Calm down" (lowers palms), and "Take five minutes." Thanks to Sydney's chatter tonight, I'm reminded I'm no longer a child whose main worry was being good for Santa, but an adult worrying about paying the bills.

"And he said to me, 'Why're you wearing a checkerboard?'" Sydney told me, referring to a classmate who had teased her the other day. While I was advising Syd not to let that little punk get under her skin, I couldn't help but feel envious of her. At only ten years-old, her biggest drama is a brat making fun of her purple and black skirt. Oh to be young again!

Where've the Golden days gone? The days where the biggest decision you had to make was whether to bring a boring PB&J sandwich for lunch or brave whatever concoction the lunch lady whipped up that day in the cafeteria. When you were having a good time in those days, your biggest concern was what would happen if you stayed out five minutes past curfew. Nowadays, though, when you're having a good time you worry about whether or not your birth control is doing its job. And the only label you had to worry about was the "Cootie' label, not "husband" or "wife" or "daughter." Labels didn't matter at all. Your best friend was your best friend and that was that. But once the Gold starts to rust, signatures and paper work gets involved and life gets all messy.

What I wouldn't give to wear a checkerboard right now...

Pros:
New place
New people (hopefully some weird and freaky)
Time off
Stuff my face every day

Cons:
More time off from work and school
Money
My boyfriend stopping by for a visit one day and me having gained enough weight to no longer be attractive

So yea I hopped on the dreaded scale today and discovered I'd lost two pounds in just a couple of weeks. What's my current weight? Well, if I'd told you I'd have to kill you. Needless to say I was quite upset. It scares me to be so underweight, not to mention it puts quite a dent in my personal image. I'd just gotten comfortable with being flat-chested, but now I may have to settle for virtually no chest...PLEASE NO!!!

Hopefully these Ensure shakes will help me out a little. If not, I may just have to look into skinny camp. Hey, every writer's got to have something, right? Sylvia Plath had a mental institution and I'll have skinny camp. Anyways I could use a vacation right about now. It'd just be nice if I came outta this thing with a chest.